Things you shouldn't say while at confessions

1) Please forgive me Father for I have sinned. I took a major draft dump in the church bathroom, clogged it, and now its overflowing.

2)Please forgive me Father for I have sinned. I was so fucking hung over I drank all your holy water.

3)Please forgive me Father for I have sinned. During communion I found the body of Christ so bland that I ordered a pizza.