Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse, because Santa bought a bunch of mouse traps and got rid of most of them.
Meanwhile at the greyhound bus station, Santa is at the ticket booth...
Santa - " I would like a ticket for each town "
Ticket Attendant - " Excuse me sir ticket for where? Where are you going?"
Santa - "Every town I said. What do you think I just wear this stupid suit and beard for nothing ? I'm Santa for Christ sakes
I have to deliver gifts to every fucking house tonight. "
Ticket Attendant - " OK ...? Don't you have a sleigh for that ?
Santa " Do I look like I have a fucking sleigh to you?? I had a sleigh until Rudolf got piss loaded drunk last night, guided the sleigh into a telephone pole, and got
a DUI.
Ticket Attendant - " Well can't you get Donner or Blitzen to guide the sleigh tonight ?"
Santa - "Donner is the only other reindeer with a class 3 license and he knocked up some elk and ran away to Alaska."
The ticket attendant glanced past Santa and noticed his sky high pile of bags.
Ticket Attendant - " I'm sorry Mr Santa but we don't have room for all those bags on our buses."
Santa - " Listen lady do you know what it takes to make these gifts? Everyone thinks elves just work for free like on the movies, well that's bullshit. I have to feed them, house them, and listen to their annoying squeaky voices. I do all this just to give the world all free shit for no apparent reason, and now you won't let me on your bus?"
to be continued...
Monday, March 22, 2010
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