Joining the NHL

Well this summer I got really good on them roller blading skates. I could even run around backwards on em, like I'm talking the whole nine yards here. So I decided I was gonna join the NHL. So I needed a nice pair of them ice skates, so I find out a nice pair of nikey skates or something are atleast 250$, otherwise they are just gonna laugh at me. So I quit drinking for the weekend and saved up 250$ for get a nice pair of nikey skates. So here I am driving to buy skates and the fucking clutch goes on my chevette , well fuck I said, here we go. So its either get the skates and join the NHL, or fix my car. Well I said fuck it, left the car, and hoped a cab. Got down to Maple Leaf Gardens. I walk in the door and find out they don't even have no gear, no pads, no nothing. So now I'm just saying fuck it. I told them I'd go out on fucking ice anyway. Those fuckers looked at me like I had 4 heads and asked what farm team I played for. Well I fucking gave it right to em, I told em, farm team!!?I hold the fucking worlds strawberry picking record east of the bay of fundy, 97 flats in 2 hours. They told me to leave , and jesus christ, I went into a blind rage. I plowed Paul Maurice's right teeth out his head. Took 3 black coffees from the machine and stormed out the building.